The Joy

Remember that time I got 5th in a 70.3 and didn't qualify for Worlds? No? That's ok. I do. Remember that time I got 11th at Gulf Coast and did qualify? Oh because I didn't tell you! I QUALIFIED FOR 70.3 WORLDS!!!!!! The joy. The sheer joy. Words cannot describe. Deferred Augusta, St. George here I come!!! 

Ironman Coeur d'Alene

June 27th, 2021

First 140.6 distance since IMCHOO in 2019. Oh boy....I wasn't feeling good. I had injured my back multiple times in the 6 weeks between Gulf Coast and flying out to ID. Multiple. To the point I thought I had a bulging disc. I don't actually think that's what was wrong, or still is, but yeesh it had been rough. 2 weeks of no running in the mix, easier rides than planned, and just so much disruption. I thought I would still make it, but I knew it wasn't going to be a PR. 

FAMILY! 

Third season on Wattie Ink Hit Squad which turned into HJ Project. And damn these people are some of the greatest people I've ever met. It was magical meeting them. 

Got an OWS in, got a spin out ride with a recon of the course, and did a baby shake out run. I really felt good. I did. I felt ready. But it all went wrong. 

The swim. 

Beautiful 2 lap lake swim. It truly was stunning there. Idaho was in the middle of a record breaking heat wave, so I knew I wanted to be cold starting the bike. Sleeveless wetsuit it is! First lap was great. Felt smooth and solid. Then the start of the 2nd lap, as I dove back into the water, I felt it. My back. It was my left side instead of my right side. Great. I had no idea what to do other than channel Dori. So I just kept swimming. Finally finished the 2.4 and back was a little better. Hey, let's go climb mountains! 

The bike.

Oh dear I was nervous for this one. It's 2 out-and-back loops. With over 7000 feet of elevation. Yeesh. And hills were what I had been struggling with. Why do I do this, again? First out and back was good. Was spinning it out, didn't feel out of breath, back was ok, and I felt good. Second out and back was great...until my front tire went flat at mile 36. I had been just thinking "man I want off this bike." Not what I meant, universe!! Kepy calm, got it changed, but my nutrition was off, the sun was cooking me, and my game was off. It shouldn't have happened, but such is life. Started the 3rd out and back. Ouch. I truly didn't know how I was gonna do 56 more miles. It was rough. I cried. I couldn't get into small enough gears. I struggled. 4th out and back. Dear God in heaven just kill me. My back was done, my legs were done, but even more scary, my lungs were done. For the first time in a race, I hiked a bike. I had to. I wasn't going fast enough to get up the hill and I was so damn dizzy. Made it to some downhills, caught my breath, and literally coasted to transition. Oh boy. 

The run.

Anothet first. I just sat in transition. Just sat. Questioned life choices, tried to breathe, just sat there. Finally. Finally got going. Had the plan to run 5 minutes, walk 1. Made it 3 minutes and had to walk. Lungs were on fire, back was in spasms, and I couldn't take a full breath. It felt like I was wearing a corset. Wtf?! Who put that there?! Tried to run, but every time I did, HR would sky rocket and I was so dizzy. So walking it was. I had, what I thought, was plenty of time. But I was so hot and tired I couldn't math. Regardless, I kept walking. Cue the leg cramps in addition to everything else. I could see my pace ticking up. Every time I saw my family I burst into tears because they had to wait for me. It wasn't fair. First loop, I was smiling. Second loop, I began to question life. Third loop? I almost gave up with every damn step. I truly have no idea how I kept going. There were no smiles. There was no joy. There was no fun. Finally, I could hear the finish line. Finally. I made the last turn. Tried to run. Nope. Almost fell over the leg cramping was so bad. Stopped, balanced, and "ran" again. The carpet! Mike Reilly! "You are an Ironman!" 

19 minutes. I had 19 minutes to the cutoff. I was DFL in my age group. Burst into tears on learning that. I could give a litany of excuses. There are none. The course beat me. I wasn't ready. I should have stopped. I proved nothing to myself or anyone else and risked further injuries to potentially derail the rest of my season. I was foolish and made bad choices. I am in awe of how far I've come physically and how far I have to go mentally. I will get there. I will. I still can't actually process it and haven't really healed, but hopefully this will help. 

Gulf Coast 70.3

May 15th, 2021

First race!!! I was like a little kid. So damn excited. I didn't feel at all ready. I was absolutely ready to race again, but my training had been so incredibly sporadic with breathing issues and injuries galore. Seriously. How often can I actually hurt myself? Every few weeks, apparently. 

We got to FL. The beach. Serenity. The calm before the storm. I really do love it there, even if it is the redneck riviera. Got checked in, got all my athlete stickers and gear, and got ready. As ready as I was going to be! 

Race morning. "Social distancing." Yeah right. We were packed in transition like sardines! And we had to wear masks, but volunteers rarely had them on. Great. It's fine. It's all fine. Get everything ready on my bike and it's time to head to the beach! We were still doing self seed based on estimated swim time, so I snuck in at 30-35 minutes. Or whatever that one was. Gun goes off, wait a bit more, then me!! 

The swim. My happy place!!! Felt smooth, felt elegant, felt graceful. Everything just felt perfect. Turns out, and I didn't find out until after, but I took first in my age group out of the water!!! I'm glad I didn't know, but hot damn I'm a shark. 

The bike. I love Florida courses. At least in PCB. Pancake flat. So drop into aero and hammer. And I did. It's an out and back, mostly, so I just kept getting distracted looking at the other side, trying to see teammates. Um, woman, how about we focus now and not crash, ok? Yeesh. Last 5 miles. Oh what's up headwind? Missed you. Cruise into T2 and I am ready. 

The run. Now, I've never been a runner. And there has always been something about willingly walking instead of just powering through. But injuries and illness dictated this year that I change my ways. So I knew I was going to be doing intervals. 7 minutes run, 1 minute walk. First lap it worked out perfectly that every walk was at an aid station. Woo! The second 2 laps did not, but by that point, it was effing hot and sunny! So it was fine. I took the extra walk breaks. And then had faster run paces. And a decent overall run! Climbed literally the only hill to come across the line 11th in my age group. So close to top 10! 

After a year of no races and obstacle after obstacle...

I'm back!!!

A Long Time

Goodness, where have I been? Where did the time go? Oh yes. We were in the time space continuum that was the end of 2019, all of 2020, and the start of 2021. I have no words. As a nurse who has struggled and is struggling with generalized fatigue, compassion fatigue, and anxiety/depression, I just want everyone to kind of go away. But that's not a thing, so we keep moving forward. 

I did a few races, so I guess I should work on those reports before I get to the mack daddy of them all. More on that to come. 

List of things from 2020 that can kiss my ass: 

Concussion 

Covid

Long Hauler Covid 

Fractured fibula 

Numerous back injuries 

Shortness of breath 

Thanks for listening. 

Going All In

I recently had the opportunity to see the amazing Sara Gross speak. If you don’t know who she is, look her up. Phenomenal powerhouse of an athlete and human being. She was at a local bike shop that was catering mostly to triathletes, and therefore, she was discussing being a professional triathlete and how the lessons she learned there translated to “regular” life. There were some really spectacular points out of the 6 main tips she had for us. While learning to let go is something I need to work on, it’s not something with which I am unfamiliar. I know I need to let go. Let go of the failures, let go of the disappointments, let go of my perceived nonsense, etc. It’s a work in progress. Perpetually. No, instead the one that struck me the most was “go all in.” 

That might seem easy. Oh you have this thing you want to do? Then go all in and do it. In my case, it’s Kona Qualify. I want it so bad that some days it’s all I can think about. As cliché as that sounds, it’s true. This is usually weekends where I have nothing on my agenda except training. But I digress. The illusive KQ. It’s been my goal in triathlon since 2011. It’s 9 years later. What happened? I can resolutely say that I have not gone all in. 

I have had some amazing seasons and I have had some disappointing seasons. I have had some “devastating” injuries, and I have been healthy. And literally everything in between. What is holding me back? I haven’t gone all in. I haven’t made up my mind to set a goal and not look back. To achieve that goal no matter what. To not revisit it, amend it, revise it, say “oh but what if…” Those are all things I have done over the past 9 years. Excuses why it wasn’t my season or my race. Justification for not going after it because of life or whatever sounded good at the time. And why? Fear. I am absolutely terrified about what “going all in” means for my life. I know it means a lot of sacrifices and rearranging priorities. I am fully aware. But what about the things I don’t even know about yet? I have never tried this fully and sincerely, so I am confident in saying I am stepping into a world of unknowns. I don’t know that I’ve ever been pushed to my limits and forced to go past them. And that scares the living daylights out of me. As seems to be the theme in endurance sport, my body can do it. It’s my brain that needs the convincing. 

I believe, I didn’t go back and look (sue me), that I ended my last post with the statement I was going to use IMFL 2022 as my serious Kona bid. Well here it is again. 

Ironman Florida, 2022. I am going to make my serious attempt at qualifying for Ironman World Championships in Kona.    

A Break

Oh the offseason. It's such a magical time. Eating and drinking anything I want, not working out as much, sleeping more, and having a life again! It helps that it's coinciding with the holidays, but it really is the most wonderful time of the year! 

It's also a great time to look back on the past season, analyze (or probably overanalyze), and begin planning the next season. Because if I'm not planning, I die. 

I'm taking a break from the 140.6 distance. It's kinda hard to do, and I'm sure it'll be harder as the season ramps up and I see my friends training for their fulls, but I know this is what I need. Not only physically, but more importantly, mentally. I just moved in with my S.O., I've started a new job, and I want to enjoy this first year together. I want us to grow together, I want us to have fun, and I don't want to spend all my time alone and training. Plus, with this decision, I can enjoy the holidays without worrying about weight as much, losing too much fitness, and I can let some neuroses go. Or at least that's the plan. 

I'm having a blast "tooling around." I'm doing super fun swim and bike sessions and I'm slowly starting to like running again. I've rediscovered my love of weight lifting and I can focus on other things besides "I'm training for an Ironman." I'm still doing 2-3 70.3s, and lots of running, but I'm going to have fun and work on all of my muscle imbalances. 

There is now a 3 year plan

2020: 70.3 distances and speed

2021: Ironman Coeur d'Alene 

2022: Ironman Florida to attempt to KQ

There. I've put it into the universe. Bring it on.

Ironman Chattanooga

September 29th, 2019

Third time's a charm!

August was brutal. Lots of long and hot training days. But between some personal choices and letting go of the Kona qualification this season, I was finally finding some peace. And that is truly magical.

Race morning. Only a tiny meltdown trying to inflate my tires. Because obviously I have never done that before. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, so I couldn't get the pump to connect to the valve properly. Instead of inflating, I released all the air. Awesome. Luckily, there was a very chill bike mechanic to help me, saying "I got you girl. No more stress. I got you." Hooray for angels in disguise?

Since it's a point to point swim, I was finally ready to hop on the shuttle. Nice and easy bus ride with my love. He also raced, but classic him, was beyond calm and helped keep me calm. Well, calmer. Met up with my lady boss and my folks and before we knew it, it was time to squeeze into speedsuit and line up.

The Swim
I love current assisted swims. That is all. Water was warm, 80 degrees, but I never felt like I was overheating. Nor did I feel out of breath, like I was flying, or crushing it. Which was exactly the plan. Yes, I could have hammered and come out faster, but I knew the heat was going to be brutal, so I didn't want to bottom out or burn matches. Not yet. Came out at 54.57. 5th in my age group. Perfect.

T1
Why did we have to run up a metal ramp? Rude. Anyway, made it to the changing tent. I swam with my kit under my speedsuit, and I've gotta say, it was spectacular not having to put on spandex over wet skin. Things to ponder for future races! A couple lovely volunteers helped me get organized, snack on pringles, and vasoline up. Some spray sunblock, in addition to more volunteers slathering it all over me, and I was off to my beautiful Shadowfax.

The Bike
Oh this course. 116 miles instead of 112. Why did I pick this one? First 11 miles, the stick, had a pretty great headwind. Wasn't terrible, but wasn't particularly awesome either. But a headwind is a headwind. Felt like I was settling in nicely, wasn't pushing too hard, and was having a blast! Which is more than I can say for my previous races. Miles were ticking away, I was drinking every 15 minutes like I was supposed to, and the hills weren't completely destroying me. Before I knew it, I was at mile 52 for special needs! Refilled my Infinit nutrition, but much to my dismay, there was no extra water. So I couldn't refill all of them. Tiny panic attack. Or slightly medium panic attack. More pringles helped, and I was off again. Luckily, there were amazing crowds, AND MY PARENTS, just past there, so I got a burst of energy. Which felt great! Until I burned a few more matches because of the excitement. Oops. Started the second loop and immediately became deflated at the increase in the headwind. And then I got into my head. Overthinking it all. And pain was starting to creep in. Left hamstring began to spasm and didn't stop. Until the end of the race. And then my feet started to go num. Neither of those things had ever happened during training, so that was super fun. The sun kept climbing, the heat kept rising, and I was suffering. Miles 73-80 were a brutal false flat with a killer headwind. I think I shed a few tears. Mile 80 came, a turn, and downhill! And like that I turned it around. I was feeling good. Miles weren't really ticking away anymore, everything was really hurting, I could feel my skin burning, and I was done. And it was only mile 100. 16 to go. Ouch. Hit mile 105 and it was the stick back into town. Made it back to Tennessee (most of the bike course is actually in Georgia) and holy cow I've never been so excited to see TN! Oh my God I started recognizing where I was! I was almost back! And then! I was!! Bike time 6:23.37. Not too shabby.

T2
Started off running in my bike shoes and quickly gave up. Steady walk to get my bag and back to the changing tent. Super weird volunteer who just kept asking weird questions. Or maybe my brain was fried? Probably the latter. Hamstring was still very mad and feet were so numb. I really wasn't sure if this run was gonna work too well. But there was just a marathon left! Just....

The Run
My nemesis. Forever and always. Started off feeling decent. But DAMN was it hot. Got to see 2 of my favorite peeps right out of transition, so that helped. But then also immediately started with more hills. Why? Why so many hills?! So some walking started. Flattened out and I settled into a "run to each aid station" plan. Worked well. Wasn't a fast pace, by any stretch, but I felt strong. Mile 4 and I obviously needed the bathroom. And then I couldn't get my HR down. And that started to worry me. So I began intervals. 4 minutes run, 1 minute walk, walk the aid stations. And that was so manageable! I felt really great doing that! And then....Barton. It's the notorious hill on this run course. Preceded by other nasty hills no one mentions! But anyway, I made it. Let the walking commence! Walked up, ran down. Great! Except it wasn't. My right knee, true to form, began its nasty little habit of causing excruciating pain. Fantastic! Bending my knee even a little bit was agony. Super. Made it up and over to head back to downtown and I knew I was in trouble. But surprisingly enough, I was still having fun. Me? Fun running? What?! Saw my peeps again when I was almost to special needs, and that was a great boost!!

Special needs and I sat down to change my very wet and disgusting socks. But sitting down was a mistake. I actually asked the volunteers if I could just stay there. Luckily, they helped me up and I began the second 13.1. I knew my knee was no longer going to be able to sustain the 4:1 interval, so I switched to a 1:1. Obviously this extended my time quite a bit, but it was better than just walking 13.1 miles. And! My friend Janet was starting her first loop as I was starting my second, so we got to go a few steps on this journey together. It was also a nice mental break. I got to talk to someone I know and love. What a beautiful moment. She dropped me like a hot potato, and I continued to slog along. Miles slowly, very slowly, passed and my body was quickly shutting down. I couldn't really eat or eat much, and I knew that was going to end terribly, but my stomach just kept saying no. My eyes were getting heavy and I wanted nothing more than to lay down. Redbull wasn't helping, Coke wasn't helping, and I still had a 10k left. Naturally, I thought about the last 10k I did and how it was under an hour. Womp womp. Thanks, brain! I'm not sure where the strength came from. The spectators? The sun was finally setting? I knew my time would be better than Wisconsin? No idea. But I just kept going. Kept. Moving. Forward. And there it was! The mile 25 mark! 1.2 to go!! Energy was coming back. And then! I saw another friend as I crossed the final bridge. Thank God it was the last uphill. Have I mentioned how the hills never stopped? Oh look! A downhill! Ugh. My knee was so, so mad. But, I could see the shoot. And at that point, I could do anything. I saw all my support crew. I saw my parents, who have supported me through all this madness. I high fived all of the random strangers. And then I heard it. "Heather Hermann. You are an Ironman!!" Three-peat, baby!! Run time 5:52.38.

Overall time 13:25.21. 32 minutes faster than IMWI, despite an additional 4 miles on the bike. Words truly cannot describe how proud of myself I am. That was a very hard day. The heat, the wind, the hills. I later heard there were over 400 DNFs. Pros dropped out left and right. But not me. I could barely walk, but instead I flew. I flew over that finish line and into a me that feels like she can finally let go of her perceived failures from last season and the beginning of this season. And the relief that comes from that? Indescribable.

I made this journey with the love of my life and my best lady boss. He completed his second and she completed her first. I am so proud of them, I am so proud of me, and while I'm sure the post race depression will hit, I am savoring and relishing flying this high. Like the pheonix, I rose from my own ashes and I found my strength and my joy.