Going All In

I recently had the opportunity to see the amazing Sara Gross speak. If you don’t know who she is, look her up. Phenomenal powerhouse of an athlete and human being. She was at a local bike shop that was catering mostly to triathletes, and therefore, she was discussing being a professional triathlete and how the lessons she learned there translated to “regular” life. There were some really spectacular points out of the 6 main tips she had for us. While learning to let go is something I need to work on, it’s not something with which I am unfamiliar. I know I need to let go. Let go of the failures, let go of the disappointments, let go of my perceived nonsense, etc. It’s a work in progress. Perpetually. No, instead the one that struck me the most was “go all in.” 

That might seem easy. Oh you have this thing you want to do? Then go all in and do it. In my case, it’s Kona Qualify. I want it so bad that some days it’s all I can think about. As cliché as that sounds, it’s true. This is usually weekends where I have nothing on my agenda except training. But I digress. The illusive KQ. It’s been my goal in triathlon since 2011. It’s 9 years later. What happened? I can resolutely say that I have not gone all in. 

I have had some amazing seasons and I have had some disappointing seasons. I have had some “devastating” injuries, and I have been healthy. And literally everything in between. What is holding me back? I haven’t gone all in. I haven’t made up my mind to set a goal and not look back. To achieve that goal no matter what. To not revisit it, amend it, revise it, say “oh but what if…” Those are all things I have done over the past 9 years. Excuses why it wasn’t my season or my race. Justification for not going after it because of life or whatever sounded good at the time. And why? Fear. I am absolutely terrified about what “going all in” means for my life. I know it means a lot of sacrifices and rearranging priorities. I am fully aware. But what about the things I don’t even know about yet? I have never tried this fully and sincerely, so I am confident in saying I am stepping into a world of unknowns. I don’t know that I’ve ever been pushed to my limits and forced to go past them. And that scares the living daylights out of me. As seems to be the theme in endurance sport, my body can do it. It’s my brain that needs the convincing. 

I believe, I didn’t go back and look (sue me), that I ended my last post with the statement I was going to use IMFL 2022 as my serious Kona bid. Well here it is again. 

Ironman Florida, 2022. I am going to make my serious attempt at qualifying for Ironman World Championships in Kona.