As I sit here, just barely 3 weeks post IMMOO, I find myself wondering the same things. What should I do this off season? How can I get leaner and faster? What should my schedule look like next year? Can I take a realistic crack at Kona? Am I, yet again, putting too much pressure on myself? (It's no wonder I don't sleep at night).
I'm reminded, by a lot of people but specifically in this case by my utterly spectacular and wonderful S.O., that I am amazing. I'm an Ironman x2. I've picked up and moved across the country (oh yeah, I picked up and moved across the country), where I know no one. We've made a long distance relationship last for almost 10 months. I went to Germany for 2 weeks all on my own. I can do anything!!
So why do I still feel like a failure? Why won't my brain let go of all the things that have gone wrong instead of focusing on all the good? Am I doomed to perpetually believe I'm not enough? What happens when I qualify for Kona? Does my life change dramatically? Other than financially because I'll be broke af, no. Life will go on. Just the same as it always does.
I'm hoping this is all just the post-race depression talking. And the real depression from having left all my friends. I want to get back into a training schedule, I desperately crave that structure, but I am trying to balance recovery with training. I've yet to achieve that. Mayhaps that's what I should focus on this off season....
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