Six Days

Six days until go-time. Under a week. And as I type, Monday is mostly over (well, it is for me since I am actually 85 and want to be in bed by 9pm). So it's basically five days and some change. *attempts deep breath*


A lot has been on my mind the past few weeks of training. Like anyone tapering for an Ironman, I begin to question whether I have done enough. Did I do enough hill training on the bike? Probably. I rode the course a fair number of times, as much as schedule and money would allow. Did I do enough hill training on the run? Probably not. I think it's going to really hurt. Obviously any Ironman hurts, but I think it's really going to hurt. Bad. Did I get my GI issues worked out? Hardly. I am hoping and praying (as much as I do that anymore) that I can make it through and actually be able to run. As long as my legs hold out, anyway (see previous sentence).


The most frustrating part is that I find myself doubting almost every decision I made this season. I should have trained harder. I shouldn't have taken 2 weeks off to go to Germany. I should have trainer harder. I shouldn't have traveled to see my S.O. as much (but love!). I should have trained harder. The rational side of my brain knows I can do this. I have done the distances before, I know what it feels like to exercise for that long. But I haven't done these distances with these elevation gains. My thunder thighs can probably manage, but you never really know until you push to and past your self-imposed limits.


Another lovely stress added to all of this is naturally something over which I have no control--nature. It's almost as if climate change is actually a phenomenon with which we are contending. Madison and the surrounding area has been absolutely slammed with storms and rain. Parts are still flooded. Let me rephrase. Parts of the course are still flooded. It's looking very unlikely that there will be a swim of the triathlon comprised of Swim, Bike, Run. That begs the question: what then? Does it become a duathlon; run-bike-run? Do we just do a 138.2 (140.6 subtracting the 2.4 mile swim)? It's still a f#@king long way, but not nearly as impressive (it's still impressive, I'm just being whiny). I find my mind racing and my heart rate rising and my face flushing all over a scenario that may not happen! Because that's what anxiety does. This nasty little demon of mine...


*attempts another deep breath*